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I Love Babies, in a light wine sauce

According to many women, the baby stage is their favourite.  I am not one of those women.  Or rather, I never used to be.  I did not enjoy the Girl as a baby.  Of course I loved her, and marvelled over how cute she was, but otherwise, the baby stage was something to be endured until she became more interesting.  I really liked the early toddler stage, when she stumbled around like a tiny drunk, was able to feed herself, could tell me what she wanted and started sleeping through the night.

And then she turned two.  Suddenly it was all defiance, and screaming, and tantrums and anger.  This subsided a bit when she was two and a half.  And then she turned three.  Now we’re on arguing just for the sake of being contrary, more tantrums, more screaming, more anger.  Not everyday, mind you.  There are some days that go by without incident.  But there are others where it feels like all I’ve done is fight with her.  I deal with it as best as I can.  Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t.  And there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think, “am I doing this right?  Will she come to me in twenty years time and tell me that she’s fucked up and it’s all my fault?”

The result of this is that I’m appreciating the Boy’s baby-ness.  It’s so much more simple at this point.  I can feed him when he’s hungry, put him to sleep when he’s tired, laugh with him, cuddle him and just be free to give him everything he wants without fear of spoiling him.  But he’s growing up too fast.  I find myself burying my nose in his feathery hair and breathing deep, trying to savour the distinctive sweet baby smell.  All too soon my sweet little boy will be a cranky three-year old, seemingly doing things for the sole purpose of getting into trouble (or winding me up).  But, hey, at least he’ll be sleeping through the night, right?  Right??

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4 responses to “I Love Babies, in a light wine sauce

  1. IfByYes

    I know what you mean. I also appreciate the baby stage much more than I was expecting. I’ve never really been a BABY person. They’re cute and all, but they’re sticky and drooly and you can’t talk to them.

    But I love, love, LOVE Babby as a baby (PH, on the other hand, definitely considers it something to be endured).

    I am dreading the toddler/early threes stage, though. I like babies ok, I love kids. But the age when they can walk but can’t respond to logic? NOT looking forward to it.

    • Yes, and the worst of it is that when you try to explain things to them, it seems to tell them that whatever you’re trying to tell them is up for debate. So you get into endless “discussions” about “what will happen if I do what you’re telling me not to?” And the negative result is not guaranteed to dissuade them.

  2. I’m actually a total baby person. I’m OK with toddlers when they’re not being jerks (so…I’m OK with them 10% of the time :P). And I’m intimidated by older kids, but I’m hoping that I’ll get over that. I miss everything you mentioned about babyhood. It was SO SIMPLE. Even if I went out of my way to make it harder for myself. Older baby/very-young toddler was awesome.

    This whole “my kid is a cranky a**hole” thing is definitely not just you. 2 and 3 are HELL for 99% of parents (is that comforting? I can’t tell if that’s comforting!). I’m finding 3 really hard too. For us, it started a couple months before his birthday. He pushes my buttons SO EFFING MUCH. He did the same thing around 2, but this is WAY worse. *sigh*

    Here’s a link that a friend sent me that made me feel SO much better. The comment section is also VERY helpful: http://www.askmoxie.org/2011/07/it-gets-better-toddler-edition.html

    xox

    • I ❤ Ask Moxie. That post was quite timely for me, as well, as I had just been thinking "is this just a phase, or is she just like this now??" when it was posted.

      Mr. Goldragon reminds me, when I get disheartened by the conflicts, that the conflicts themselves are teaching her about human interaction. They won't learn by being told alone, they have to experience it for themselves. It doesn't make it any easier on me, her poor mother, but I do keep it in mind when I feel like a big meanie.

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