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Friday Funny

The Girl is obsessed with genitalia.  Specifically, penises.  Almost since the Boy was born, every time I change his diaper she is right there behind my shoulder, pointing and saying, “Ha!  Penis!”  Oh, she is her mother’s daughter.  Have I not mentioned that my sense of humour is at times akin to that of a fifteen year old boy?

The other day, she was at my elbow while I was on the computer, pointing to random pictures and the following conversation emerged:

The Girl (pointing):-“Is he a boy?”

Me:- “Yes.”

The Girl:- “Does he have a PEN-nis?”


The Girl:-“The Boy is a boy, and HE has a penis.”

Me:-“That’s right.”

The Girl:- “Daddy’s a boy, and he also has a penis.”


The Girl:- “Do *all* boys have penises?”

*dramatic pause*  Now, I want to bring my kids up in an atmosphere of acceptance for all people, so I felt that my answer should be honest, and should also leave room for grey areas for future conversations about the more complex issue of gender identity.

Me:-“Yes, most boys have penises.” (and I wanted to leave it at that)

The Girl, of course, wanted no such thing, picked up on my change of wording and said:-“*Most* boys have penises?  *Some* boys *don’t* have penises?”

Me (wrapping my head around the fact that I’m having this conversation with her already, but persevering):-“Yes.  There are some boys, very few, who don’t have a penis.”

The Girl: “Are there some *girls* who have a penis?”

Me (will this conversation never end?): “Yes, there are some girls, very few, who have a penis.”

The Girl: “When I get very much bigger, I will have a penis.”

Me (oh boy…): “You think so?”

The Girl: “Oh yes.  I will go to the store, and I will buy a penis.  Then I will take my vulva and throw it into the GARBAGE! And then I will take my penis and just twist it on,” she demonstrated with a  twisting hand motion,” and  then I will have a PENIS!”

Me: O_o *Blink, blink* BWAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, the conversations she will have at Preschool!


8 responses to “Friday Funny

  1. Hannah

    I give you King Missile and a song from my dissolute youth (NSFW):

  2. ceeboo

    THAT is hilarious. You have an imaginative kid! I’m reading this on my cell and promptly wile up Luke so I could read it to him. XD

  3. IfByYes

    I have wondered how I will handle this conversation too. PH gets into arguments with people on noticeboards when he sees words like “tranny” thrown around, and we have SEVERAL friends who are transgendered, so it’s an important subject, since he has at least one Auntie who *does* have a penis. I love The Girl’s pronouncement. I wonder what it is about penises that everyone thinks is so great? Maybe if you tell her she may want to keep her vulva so she can have babies…. then again, that sounds a little 1950s. But honestly, where’s the vulva love?

    • I think it’s that the vulva’s awesomeness is hidden, whereas the penis has no secrets, it’s just out there, for all to see. Also, it gives the owner the ability to pee standing up, which has a certain appeal.

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